QUESTION TAG CLASS
Teacher: Our topic for today is question tag..
Example1 You have a bag,haven't you?
Example2 He can't come, can he? Now Who can make a sentence using question tag?
Chidi: we go chop yam today chopn't we?
Teacher: what?? This is terrible! Who can correct that sentence??
Akpos: aunty no mind dat yamhead!
we go chop yam today, yamn't it??
Example1 You have a bag,haven't you?
Example2 He can't come, can he? Now Who can make a sentence using question tag?
Chidi: we go chop yam today chopn't we?
Teacher: what?? This is terrible! Who can correct that sentence??
Akpos: aunty no mind dat yamhead!
we go chop yam today, yamn't it??
1000 NIGERIAN NAIRA NEEDS HELP
A
well-worn out One Thousand Naira note and a similarly distressed Ten Naira note
arrived at the Central Bank to be retired. As they moved along the conveyor
belt to be burnt, they struck up a conversation.The One Thousand Naira
reminisced about its travels all over the county.
"I've had a pretty good life,"the OneThousand Naira proclaimed."Why I've been to Lagos, Ibadan, Benin, Kano and Abuja, the finest restaurants in Victoria Island, Kaduna, Abuja & eastern Nigeria, performances at Muson Center and Glover Hall, hottest nite clubs all over the country and even a cruise on the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans.
"Wow" said the Ten Naira."You've really had an exciting life!"
"So tell me," says the One Thousand,
"where have you been throughout your lifetime?"
The Ten Naira replies, "Oh, I've beento the Apostolic & Methodist Church,the Redeemed Christian Church, the DeeperLife Bible Church, Baptist Church, Anglican church, Catholic church, the C & S Church,CCC, theLutheran Church..."
The One Thousand Naira note interrupts,
"What's a church?"
Please help the N1000 notes go to church. .
"I've had a pretty good life,"the OneThousand Naira proclaimed."Why I've been to Lagos, Ibadan, Benin, Kano and Abuja, the finest restaurants in Victoria Island, Kaduna, Abuja & eastern Nigeria, performances at Muson Center and Glover Hall, hottest nite clubs all over the country and even a cruise on the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans.
"Wow" said the Ten Naira."You've really had an exciting life!"
"So tell me," says the One Thousand,
"where have you been throughout your lifetime?"
The Ten Naira replies, "Oh, I've beento the Apostolic & Methodist Church,the Redeemed Christian Church, the DeeperLife Bible Church, Baptist Church, Anglican church, Catholic church, the C & S Church,CCC, theLutheran Church..."
The One Thousand Naira note interrupts,
"What's a church?"
Please help the N1000 notes go to church. .
STOP PLAYING
One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him,
"My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor."
"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer at the drugstore at the corner. Just give it a urine sample and the computer'll tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars...a hell of a lot cheaper than a doctor."
So Jack deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to the drugstore. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and masturbated into the mixture for good measure.
Jack hurries back to the drugstore, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.
The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant...twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.
"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer at the drugstore at the corner. Just give it a urine sample and the computer'll tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars...a hell of a lot cheaper than a doctor."
So Jack deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to the drugstore. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.
That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and masturbated into the mixture for good measure.
Jack hurries back to the drugstore, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.
The computer prints the following:
1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant...twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.
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